In fact, your intrepid YouTube digester just saw him at a party with Tyler Oakley last night, joined by South African/Australian twink troubadour Troye Sivan and a couple other YouTube folks. He’s in with that whole Tyler Oakley clique. He was a nice Minnesota kid who got famous on YouTube and now lives in Los Angeles and makes videos like this, dispensing flimsy advice and meaningless platitudes to his millions of fans. Me, I’m taking the dinner with Zayn, but just because that Lambrusco or whatever he’s drinking looks good. Or you’re doing all of those things! Really depends on the expansiveness of your fantasy life, I guess. Either you’re having a nice dinner with Zayn’s Kurt Russell coif, you’re ice skating with Harry “Bedroom Eyes” Styles, you’re engaging in light fireside hanky-panky with pale ghost Niall, drivin’ in a car with Meredith Baxter impersonator Louis Tomlinson, or at some sort of fair with Liam. More excitingly, the new video is shot in such a way that it’s like YOU are on a date with the boys. But it’s still a step up from a lot of their old songs, which were mostly tinny and boring. The video is for the mid-tempo ballad “Night Changes,” which is not nearly as fun as “Steal My Girl,” the first single from the quintet’s new album, Four. Let’s cleanse the palate with the latest music video from British daughter-wooers One Direction. She really didn’t need to have separated fingers. And she does look a lot more real than Barbie does, that’s for sure.
This video is supposed to be uplifting, but doesn’t something about it feel a little off? Why did the school agree to do this? Isn’t it a bit peculiar? Maybe I just see demons everywhere (I should be better about taking my brain pills), but there’s something unsettling about this whole Lammily thing. And now he’s taken the doll to a private school in Pittsburgh and had the children say nice things about it on camera. There’s nothing wrong with the idea behind Lammily, or the execution of it, really, but there is something odd about the Eastern European-accented man behind the doll, a fellow named Nickolay Lamm.
Speaking of nightmares, here’s a video about Lammily, a fashion doll built in realistic human proportions, as opposed to Barbie’s anatomic absurdity. Also, “All About That Bass” is itself a terrible song.
What value do they bring to the world? None. Song parodies are, by and large, terrible, especially when they’re as toothless and lame as those produced by this accursed family. But mostly this “All About That Bass” parody nightmare serves as an important reminder that song parodies are among the worst things in the known universe, unless they are done very well, which is exceedingly rare. There is so much to be upset about here, from mildly exploited children to the unsettling racial undertones in many of the videos. His wife is pretty into it, too, while the poor children have never known anything but this sorry existence. Leading the pack is father Penn Holderness, a former newscaster turned consultant of sorts who uses these videos to show off his viral savvy, but also, of course, relishes in the attention. Deadspin has already done a pretty thorough, and accurate assessment of the horrible Holderness horde, who do song parodies with lyrics about their wacky upper middle class suburban lifestyle. The little notation I have next to the link for this video is “nightmare family,” and boy oh boy what an utter nightmare they are. This content can also be viewed on the site it originates from.